The Barnacle & The Whale

If you are a fan of the majestic creatures that grace our oceans (unfortunately in declining numbers), then chances are you probably heard of the crustacean creatures that latch on to them, for a full-board free ride.
Whales are avid of plankton, and Barnacles are filter-eaters that relish on this meal. This match made in heaven seems totally logical, the whale in all its grandeur is able to carry up to 500Kgs of barnacles on its skin without batting an eyelid, the plankton in return, occasionally offers a layer of protection of some sort in times of conflict, and acts as the first line of defense for incoming blows.

Whale Covered in Barnacles

Scientists define the relationship as Obligate Commensalism, neither Symbiosis where both organism benefit, neither Parasitism where one specie benefits at the expense of another.
This is mainly because the whale is rarely harmed (except by some drag and an occasional infection) and the barnacle is always taken into feeding territory by its host where it lives happily basking in its own irrelevance. It is worth mentioning that barnacles species are picky about the whale species they associate with and never cross from one specie to another (trust me I googled it).
When a barnacle is detached from a whale, it will often undergo necrosis and die, which is a key point in the analogy I am getting to.

Let's say Whales are the big investors, the capital holders, the cigar-wielding, yacht-owning, panel-speaking faces we have been bombarded with day after day, under the guise of "Making Lebanon Great Again" through Entrepreneurship (yeah yeah yeah) and all the smoke and mirrors that come with this hype. If so, then those of you with trained eyes will have probably noticed the barnacles that are always stuck on the skin of those whales.  The brisk-applauding, elbow-rubbing, hyper-dynamic, porte-paroling minions that always tell you what you need to do to succeed.

While human barnacles share the lack of backbone with their crustacean namesakes, they often stand-out in their unique capacity to detach from their current host and navigate spontaneously into a new one that promises to drive them into Paradise City. where the plankton is green and the sums are pretty...big.

"So what's your point?" I hear you ask already with the arrogant stance of a Lebanese who has been told that their mom's Tabbouleh is not that tasty.
I am not sure what my point is really. Perhaps I just love cetaceans and maybe I do agree with what you're thinking: "No, we cannot all be whales".
That is indeed often a unique genetically-bound situation, but you don't have to be a barnacle either!
If you think about it, after all, there are plenty of fish in the sea...

The Pitfalls of Social Media Powered CSR

Over the past year or so, there has been an increase in Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) initiatives driven or empowered by social media. Regardless what opinions you or I might have on the motives behind companies doing CSR, the fact remains that these contributions do eventually help people.

The last two major campaigns in Lebanon that I have seen sweeping across social media and twitter more specifically have involved highly commendable contributions to The Children Cancer Center of Lebanon.

Having met the fine people behind this endeavor, I cannot stress enough how much this center is a pillar of the fight against cancer, and should be strongly supported. I encourage everyone to participate in these campaigns so that the center can profit to the max.

Having said that, I must turn to the corporations who organize these giveaways. I might be a stickler here (when am I not?), but there is something deeply wrong with a contribution being conditioned by a company in exchange for users tweeting, liking or sharing their tweets or their posts. Are you or are you not supporting the cause? Why does it have to be conditional to social actions?
if I may portray this differently, if users don't tweet or interact, does that mean you will not be contributing as much to the charity in question?
I have been faced with clients who insisted on using such tactics in Lebanon and abroad, and have always recommended against that, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. My honest opinion is that the "good deed" should not be subject to social media blackmail.

One way of doing this properly is by setting the rules ahead and making the user's interaction decisive in choosing the destination of the donation NOT the amount!
A good example of this, is what INDEVCO Group (Sanita) did, back in 2012, through a Facebook campaign for their Paper Tissue brand Dreams entitled "Deyman Bifikrna" (Always in Mind).

In this case, Sanita decided ahead of time on the sum to be spent in terms of donation, and chose to allow their brand fans to express their opinion by choosing one of  8 different NGOs as candidates to receive the amount.
While they did leverage their CSR giveaway to generate social traffic, they did not condition neither the action, nor the amount to be contributed with users generating viral reach for the brand. This might be a rare time where I am not the cynic I usually am, but I like to think that the good deed itself would be enough to drive people to talk about it, without having to twist their arm and give them a candy afterwards.

That could be one way to do things; the other? well...I don't know...But I am sure with social media gurus out there, someone's bound to strike gold!

Busted: Boom Boom copies Japp

There's always a special flavor to the act of busting someone who has blatantly copied someone else's creative work without any attribution. Just ask Beirut/NTSC, he specializes in hunting these down.
Of course it's not always black and white like with the ad mentioned in my recent post Candia With A Chance of Meatball.
However, when my good friend Hady Chandler Chehlaoui (some of you might know him from his funny videos as part of To Dum Brothers) showed me this ad, by yet another energy drink manufacturer, there were no grey areas and no hesitation, that's plain plagiarism.
I am not a fan of energy drinks and prefer to stay away from them altogether and this is why I probably missed this ad but here it is for your viewing:

Now jump ahead and watch this ad for chocolate energy bars called Japp.

As you might have seen the original Leo Burnett ad was done back in 1995 as part of an original 4-ad series revolving around the same concept and characters ( You can watch them and more here).

As many have highlighted before me, it's amazing how some people still think they can get away with such flagrant copying at a time where everything is one Google page away.

Seriously, stop insulting people's intelligence!

Pay Up Or Shut Up

I challenge you all!

Yes, I dare you to produce a business owner or manager in Lebanon, that does not consistently complain about cash liquidity, bad paying customers, and the endless list of excuses that these customers are able to come up with to simply avoid settling their dues.

Not paying on time (or even at all) has become a national sport to the point where one may suggest it even deserves its own federation.

Think about it:
The Federation of Accounts Outstanding.
It has a ring to it, a "je ne sais quoi" of a financial version of "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" only more sordid. I am also even sure we would be entitled to follow on TV the never-ending politically motivated squabbles when they decide to elect their board *cough*FLB*cough*.

Although a handful of businesses still maintain a healthy reputation for settling their dues, a mix of a degrading economical situation, lack of swift actions by the judicial system, and a very individualistic non-team-playing pop culture has made this a trademark of today's Lebanese business scene.

This quote by the very talented Ted Danson's character Dr John Becker from the comedy sitcom Becker illustrate our predicament in this country:" That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it!"

I am assuming that there are enough scientific studies to prove that if everybody did pay their dues, everyone would end up with more money to spare eventually. "Money begets money" as the proverb goes ( I will refrain from using the second half of the Lebanese version of the proverb goes)

Anyway, what better way to illustrate this other than by giving you examples of the ingenious payment-evasive skills of your average Lebanese business owner:

Location Based/ Absence Related Excuses:

• The CEO/CFO/Accountant  is out of office/town/country/universe (sick, leave, divorce, marriage...etc)
• Your account manager is on maternity leave; she was handling your papers
• I am talking to you while roaming. I will sign the check once I am back in Lebanon.
• I am back in Lebanon, but I did not go to the office yet.
• I am not currently at my desk. Call me again tomorrow.

Misplacement Of Items

• We cannot find your invoice, please send us a copy again.
• We cannot find the checkbook (variant: The checkbook is finished, we need to get a new one)
• We cannot find the signed check. We will have to issue a new one.

Administrative Delays

• The management did not yet approve the payment (no reasons given)
• The check is being prepared (I can never tell if they are actually designing & printing the check or if they have someone who writes r.e.a.a.a.a.a.a.l.l.y slow)
• The check has been signed by one person, we are waiting for the second signature.
• The check has been signed, but I am not authorized to hand it to you yet.
• The check is in the safe. The manager has the combination and is not here today.
• I am too busy right now, I cannot verify if the check has been made out (usually comes with multiple mouse click sounds associated with minesweeper or solitaire)
• The check is issued by the main office outside Lebanon. We need to send them an email reminder for them to mail it in to us.
• We just implemented a new policy that dictates that payment is done 45 days after the invoice. Yes, the policy was not in place when you invoiced us, but we have to implement it now.

The list can go on and on, with a multitude of variants on these all-too-blatant basic excuses, but at the center of the matter lies a much bigger malaise. We take everything for granted: Our parents, our children, our friends, our loved one(s) and eventually our business contacts. The way we do business reflects who we are as a society: self-centered, distrustful, short-sighted, ego-bloated and eventually tragicomical. 

Long live the Joie de Vivre!

Stand Out...Of My Way

Nowadays, so many of us go on a perpetual quest to acquire additional skills, hoping to stand out from the crowd. I guess this is only normal as we live in a society that idolizes celebrities and socialites, and frequently shuns those who choose to perform away from the noise and hassle of the public eye.
This has sprung many into developing a business model that relied on delivering soft skills or people skills for those seeking that extra edge.

How do I fit in all this?

As an adept of the fine art of knowledge transfer, I always found myself drawn towards opportunities where I could act as a trainer, a facilitator, a speaker. Knowledge sharing is in its own merit is a learning experience.

This specific entity I collaborated with not long ago, portrayed itself as a dynamic professional team that lived what they preached and preached what they lived. They looked as transparent, open, systematic as they could be, constantly running round tables and introspection sessions where everybody seemed like they truly enjoyed helping each other out.

I plunged into this universe and took it upon me to create and re-write workshop material, enrich slide deck content and optimize the delivery methods. Results came quickly with praise and positive ratings from corporate and individual attendees of my workshops alike.
At some point, I was even asked to take a pass on a university teaching opportunity as my involvement in the workshops they planned to offer was both increasingly necessary and forecasted to grow...and I bought into all that.

Fool me once, shame on you...

A few months later, one disappointment was piling over another. My quota of workshops unlike my ratings was decreasing constantly. Travel plans fell through for unclear reasons. Even the initial financial agreement was not entirely respected. Eventually, my freedom to deliver workshops in the style that I always had used became suddenly subject to scrutiny and comments over factors that had no impact whatsoever on the outcome of the workshop and the satisfaction of the attendees. (see. Bullying101)

Things added up and it did not require me to be the lead character in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle epic novel to discover that  my entire involvement was used to fill their gap in knowledge and resources. Colleagues that had asked to attend my workshops as guests were actually there to pry, copy, learn the extra info that existed only in what I delivered verbally. That information could not be deducted from my slide decks because, simply, it was not there.

Openness, transparency and management by objectives were nothing more than a honeypot to attract qualified individuals into this setup (pun intended)
This was a closely knit group that systematically attracted outside skills to improve itself, only to later bully those very same talents away when they were no longer crucial to the operation.

After all why pay an external facilitator while they could split the revenues among them?
Why attend expensive training seminars when you get someone to spoon-feed you the material while bringing in revenue to the business?

Needless to say, my exit was swift and determined. I had no intention of wasting any energy anymore on such endeavors. I felt cheated but I was not bitter. My instincts had been warning me all along that something was wrong and I had failed to listen.

The Takeaway...

I may have lost time and effort collaborating with these individuals but I did not walk away empty handed.
Here's my advice on collaborating as a team member with any of the many training & facilitation centers out there:

1. Find out who their team members are then check out their credentials
2. Find out if it's a family operated business (not just family owned) or if they are all previously acquainted aside from currently being colleagues
3. Try to find people who collaborated with them before and ask them why they left
4. Secure the number of workshops and frequency in your contract
5. Secure the financial part in your contract
6. Make sure that efforts employed in improving their syllabus are remunerated or maintain a clause that prevents them from taking ownership of work you did on the material without you getting paid for it.
7. Do not accept other facilitators as guests (unless paid extra for that, and handsomely if I may ad)
8. When you get another opportunity take it, if they care enough about keeping you with them they'll offer to pay extra.