If Magazine Covers Were Honest

I almost never buy any magazines, aside from the Smash Hits & Photos magazines I bought as a teenager, my only encounters with magazines are at doctors' clinics and when they run TV ads citing their headlines. This has not stopped me from being highly admirative of the amount of bullshit that these magazines can dish out, especially in their titles a.k.a the ancestors of clickbait.

I conceived this cover a couple of days ago as an attempt at satire, based on first-hand experienc with the topics I chose to highlight. Many people picked-up on the gest of it but others were not on the same frequency and asked me to explain. So here goes nothing:

Mashrou' Leila: This highly overrated and barely audible Lebanese band rose to international fame by using the openly gay card of their lead singer, thus creating controversy in a region not receptive to such a public declaration. Their die hard fans usually accuse their critics of being homophobic to suppress the fact that their sound closely resembles that of a squeaking door.

Facebook Posts: In these tumultuous times that we live in, where the world seems to implode on itself, with a war raging next door, refugees flooding the country and other continents, and a general malaise swarming up globally, one cannot escape the numerous "humanitarian" status updates by individuals who claim to support or defend a good cause but who in fact use a passive-aggressive approach to advance their political views at the expense of those who are actually suffering.

Freebies: I don't need to explain this much, as it's become public knowledge the amount of bloggers who just echo promo material offered by brands or agencies. Some of them still hide behind their finger (ironically so), others are just outright shameless about it. Of course it's fine if a blogger monetizes their presence, just make sure you still offer valuable content not just act as a billboard, because we're on to you...yes, you...you know who you are!

Brexit Nightlife: That's basically putting a buzzword which is trending now (Brexit) with another buzzword which seems the only thing going for us in Lebanon since the end of the civil war. Who would not want to know more how a Brexit is going to help the Lebanese nightlife? Woohoo Lebanese F***ing Joie de Vivre baby!

So folks, scurry along now and don't forget to pick up your edition before it runs out...it's selling like hotcakes!

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